Stupidity's the Limit
by Dali2theLlamasquared
Summary: CHAPTER 7 NOW UP! Lestrade from SH22 is trying to find out what Holmes has been up to lately... Wow! I actually updated! Insight would be nice...would you like a sequel?
1. Hurry!

Stupidity's the Limit

Part 1

"What is the matter with you?" asked Inspector Elizabeth Lestrade to Sherlock Holmes one evening as he paced the floor. Lestrade had just walked in the door to find Holmes pacing the floor before the fireplace. Of course, the fireplace was fake, the fact being that it was the 22nd Century. 

"Are you missing your pipe again, Holmes?" asked Lestrade. (There was no smoking in the 22nd Century). "You know you'll just have to get used to the fact that there's no smoking allowed..."

"It's not that, Lestrade, it's not that." He was being a bit more snappish than usual. "I just need to sort out some of my thoughts, and I can't seem to relax, that is all."

"Why not?"

"Please stop bugging me."

"You can tell me."

"It's a personal matter."

"You're getting more annoying than Watson." Watson was a computeroid, programmed to be like and have the same mind as the original Dr. John H. Watson of the 19th Century.

Sherlock Holmes of the 22nd Century was actually created by a piece of DNA from the true Sherlock Holmes. Created by Beth Lestrade, he lives at 221B Baker Street and is adjusting to his new life in the future. He still only remembers the 19th Century. He can't play his violin because there are none in the future. He can't smoke because there is no smoke anywhere. He can't even ride in a real hansom anymore because everyone rides in hovercars in the air! There was much information to absorb from two centuries, and he was used to being in control of everything. Now, he had control over very little. Lestrade thought that's what was bothering him, but his still huge ego wouldn't let him say so.

"C'mon, Holmes, tell me what's on your mind?"

"Not now, Lestrade. I need to think. Go talk with Watson or something. Why don't you call up the Irregulars? Have them come over. I should be able to think clearly by then." He walked out of the room.

__

He really is_ not feeling well...needs some rest, that's all. That, or something to do._ Lestrade decided to go and talk to Watson. She walked to the kitchen.

"Hello, Watson," she said cheerily.

"Did you just win an argument with Holmes?" he asked, a bit skeptically.

"Oh, no, not at all. I just feel cheery today."

"Did you get back at Holmes for something he'd done to you?"

"No; why do you ask? D'you think I get my only delight by torturing the man?"

"No; by driving him up the wall with your pride."

"Thanks a lot, Watson."

"Anytime, Lestrade, anytime."

She didn't say anything for a while, then she said, "Watson, have you noticed anything lately?"

"What do you mean?"

"With Holmes. He's been acting strangely lately. Do you know why?"

"I haven't even noticed, Beth, I haven't even noticed."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." She left the room, contemplating as she walked over to the visiphone.

"Wiggins, please," she said to the telephone. 

A few seconds later, a young African man appeared on the screen. "Yes, Lestrade?" Wiggins said. "What's up? Somethin' I can do for you?"

"Actually, Wiggins, I want you to get a hold of Deidre and Tennyson. Meet me at my apartment in half an hour, okay?"

"Sure, Lestrade, but why not at 221B?"

"Don't ask now, Wiggins; I'll tell you later, okay?"

"If you say so, Lestrade." They hung up.

__

I just hope half an hour is not too late! thought Lestrade to herself as she ran out the door onto Baker Street. She jumped into her hovercar and rode off.


	2. Miss Alicia Kendrickson

Hiyah! This is for Rose with Thorns because she actually reviewed this story and seems to be one of the only people that actually understand what I'm trying to write here! This is also for Fire's Dew, who also reviewed. I think they're the only people who have read this story, but that's perfectly okay with me. I'm used to it by now! Hope you enjoy it!!!

________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: Yeah, we all know. I don't own any of the characters, unless I make up my own!!! Talk latah!

________________________________________________________________________

Lestrade was driving in her hovercar, slamming on the brakes because of the guy in front of her slamming on his brakes. She was too preoccupied to even swear, though. (That's telling you a lot; she says "zed" a lot when she's angry. I mean a lot!) _Holmes had better not leave his rooms before I get back from talking with the kids,_ she thought to herself. _I've gotta talk to him...I think I know what's bothering him, but I want to run it through to the Irregulars first. I just hope I'm wrong._

A few minutes later, she was at her apartment, running up the steps. They weren't there yet. She went into her room and got out her old trunk. Her old trunk contained a bunch of junk, like face paint, fake hair, hair dye, and different costumes. The costumes were new (compared to the rest of the stuff, which was over a century old); she changed into a long red dress, putting on high heels, too. She then colored her hair black, put some wrinkles near her eyes and mouth, and changed her eye color to brown with a laser she found at the bottom of the trunk.

There was a knock at the door just as she was finishing up with her eyes. She quickly ran out of her room (or as best she could with high-heels on) and greeted the three young people at the door. 

"I'm very sorry, but Miss Lestrade isn't here at the moment; she was detained by something or other. She told me to let you in and explain why she wanted you here myself."

The three walked in. Well, two walked and the young boy with blonde hair hovered in with a hover chair. He didn't say anything, just typed on his keyboard. They keyboard made sounds like "Beep, whirr..."

"Hmm?" said the lady in red.

The young woman with short brown hair, Deidre, spoke up. "Tennyson wants to know where Lestrade is."

"Here, sit down and I'll explain." They all took a seat. She stayed standing. She started to explain.

"Miss Lestrade isn't here right now because she is off on a mission. She won't be back for some time, but needs you to make sure everything is all right while she is gone. She wants you to pay specific attention to a Mr. Holmes that she mentioned. She said that he has not been himself lately and is worried about him. That is about it."

Wiggins asked, "Where is she? And who are you?"

"For the first, she is on a mission in a different country. For the second, I am her distant cousin, Alicia Kendrickson. It has been nice to chat with you, but I need to do some things. If you would excuse me..." She was, in other words, politely telling them to leave.

Their heads were still filled with questions, but they decided not to press their luck and left. She shut the door behind them and went out the back way. She got into her hovercar and started the engine, saying to herself, "Now it's time to make a visit to Holmes. I wonder if he'll notice me for me or for Alicia."

**********

"Holmes, what is the matter? You have been pacing this room like a restless tiger pent up in a tiny cage!"

"That is because, in a way, I am."

"Is there anything I can do?" There was concern in Watson's eyes as he asked Holmes that question. At least, as much concern as can show in a computeroid's eyes.

"No, no," Holmes responded, distractedly. "I just need to think alone. Just more data...I cannot accuse anyone without sufficient data! I'll be fine, once I clear up something that has been bothering me for a long time." He walked out of the room and into his bedroom.

In his bedroom, he brooded. "She must be connected with all of this...but how?" he asked himself. "Miss Kendrickson must be an accomplice of Moriarty! All of the evidence I have gathered leads to that conclusion...it is a good thing I decided to make sure Lestrade didn't hear any of this. She wouldn't stand for being left out. She'd just run head-first into it and then...well..." 

His thoughts were interrupted by Watson, saying, "Holmes, there's someone at the door for you. A Miss Alicia Kendrickson, I believe she told me."


	3. Meeting

Hiyah! I'm here with the next chapter to my demented story!!! This chapter is dedicated to (and here comes the list...it's very short, though!):

****

Rose With Thorns--Thanks so much! I didn't think anyone would like it so much! I feel so happy!!! ::tears stream down her face:: Thank you, thank you, thank you! And I do hope you get you chair reupholstered! Or just get a new one! You know, one that can handle clawing!

****

Mary Christmas--I'm so glad you reviewed!!! OMG, I've already been reading the stories on that site you suggested, and they're sooooo good! I love them all!!!!!!!!!!! (Is that enough "!"? Of course not!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (There; I think that's enough!)

Thanks, you guys! You're the people that keep me writing on and on and on...

________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: Yeah, we all know! I don't own any characters except for Alicia, who you haven't even met yet! Don't worry; she'll come up later. I think...unless I suddenly change my mind...which is quite possible...hmm...

________________________________________________________________________

Lestrade leapt out of her hovercar and bolted for the door to 221B Baker Street. Before knocking on the door, she remembered her manners and who she was pretending to be. She smoothed out the dress she wore and fixed her hair as best she could before she rang the doorbell.

The door was answered by Watson. "Hello. I wish to speak to Mr. Holmes, please. It's very urgent. My distant cousin, Elizabeth Lestrade, sent me."

"Really?" asked Watson, skeptically. (A/N: Hey, Watson's been with Holmes long enough to be at least skeptical a _little_ bit when people come to ask for help, especially if they're batting their eyelids like Alicia was doing right then.) "Might I ask what your name is?"

"Miss Alicia Kendrickson. And please, tell him that the matter is of the utmost importance!"

"One moment, please," said Watson. He closed the door in her face. _Seems like he's losing his Victorian manners quickly, _thought Lestrade._ I wonder if it's all that bad, though..._

**********

"...A Miss Alicia Kendrickson, I believe she told me."

__

Confound her! thought Holmes. _Of all the times...well, then, if she is so impatient to be turned into the authorities, then so be it._ Out loud, he said, "What does she look like?"

"She's wearing a long red dress with matching high heels. She has black hair and brown hazel eyes. I would place her age at about mid-thirties, though she has a few more wrinkles than most of her age."

"My my, Watson. Those programs in your brain must be very good indeed. I think you had better do the detecting around here instead of myself!"

"Holmes, I really don't need your sarcasm at the moment."

"Sorry, old fellow. Well, let her in. Just entertain her for a few moments while I make myself ready, all right, Watson?"

"Of course, Holmes." He was about to close the door as he exited Holmes' rooms when Holmes commented "And don't mind if I don't look the same when I come out. I may not look like myself. But to not be alarmed." Watson nodded his head in understanding and shut the door.

__

What is he up to? wondered Watson to himself. _I wonder...but that's impossible...isn't it?_

**********

"What's taking so long?" muttered Lestrade, who was still outside. "I never knew that Holmes lost his Victorian politeness, too..." She was interrupted by the sound of footsteps within.

The door opened in front of her. It was Watson's face she saw and his voice that said, "Won't you come in, Miss Kendrickson?" He opened the door wide, giving her enough space to enter.

She walked through the door, looking at the familiar interior, trying to not show her familiarity with the room. She hesitated a moment until Watson said, "Won't you please sit down? Holmes will be here shortly. He has some business that needs finishing. He'll be here any moment." She sat down in the chair she usually sat in, the one next to Holmes' favorite chair. Watson took the chair he always sat in. The pretend fire in the fireplace was crackling merrily

There was a long lull, then Watson asked, "Now, Miss Kendrickson, may I ask you a question?"

"Of, course, Dr. Watson, but I can only answer questions I am at liberty to answer."

"Of course, Miss Kendrickson. Now, would you please tell me a bit about who you are?"

"Certainly. I am the elder child of my mother and father, having a younger brother. I live with my parents, not being married, as you see, to anyone. I do not work; my family is fairly well-off in financial means. I am a distant relative of Miss Lestrade; we have been friends for a while now, and she trusts me implicitly."

"And what did Miss Lestrade have to say to you?"

"I am not at liberty to tell you, Dr. Watson. I am very sorry, but she said that the words I tell Mr. Holmes are for his ears only."

"Oh; I see." He, actually, did not, but decided that it was best to pretend he did. "Now, Miss Kendrickson, can I tempt you with a cup of tea?"

"Why, thank you, Dr. Watson. A cup of tea would be splendid." Watson walked out of the room to return in a few seconds with tea. (Things take much less time in the future than now!) She took the steaming tea from Watson's hand and sipped it politely, waiting for Watson to say something.

"Umm...ahhh...so, Miss Kendrickson...umm..."

"Yes?" She smiled widely.

"Yes, well, um...I just was wondering about...your...uhh...what did you study at college?"

"College? I don't remember ever mentioning anything about my college life, Dr. Watson. Now, don't tell me you have the same mental facilities as Mr. Holmes but just are too modest to admit it!" Watson blushed deeply, a bit flustered, a bit prideful, and a bit happier than he was before.

"Oh, no; Holmes has all the analytical brains. I just supposed that anyone with a well-to-do family would obviously go to college."

"Why, that's very smart of you, Dr. Watson." He blushed again. "Yes, I went to Cambridge College. My father is simply obsessed with the idea of going to a college that has been in this country for so many years. I was going to go to Oxford but decided against it. There are simply too many people who are, oh, so _modern_ there. I despise these modern ideas. I wonder at times why we don't just turn the clocks back and live as we did before."

"I quite agree, Miss Kendrickson. I was just telling Holmes the other day..." But, before Watson could finish his thought, Holmes stepped out. 

Miss Kendrickson, first looking at Holmes, stared at him, an eyebrow raised. She then almost jumped out of her seat, then regained herself and stayed put. Holmes, seeing her every move, walked towards her, but his gait was different. He tended to favor his right foot over his left.

**********

__

Now, for the finishing touches... Holmes was standing in front of his mirror and making a few last minute changes to his appearance before straightening and brushing the wrinkles out of his clothes. Well, actually, he only straightened somewhat. He kept himself hunched slightly. He added onto himself a scar on his right eyelid, a bandage on his left hand, and more bruises on his arms and face. They were, of course, fake, but necessary to draw out Miss Kendrickson. _Just a last touch..._ He added a puffy right eye._ There; perfect! She will think that I am weak and not in any condition to fight; therefore, she either will not battle me until I am at my full strength or lunge at me when we're alone so she can destroy me. The latter seems more probable, but we shall soon see._ He left his room to find a very flustered Watson and a very becoming woman staring at him.

**********

__

What happened? thought Lestrade. _This can't be Holmes! He's not injured! Was I too late? It can't be...what has he been doing?! He shouldn't be agreeing to see anyone in his condition!_ She was about to spring out of her chair when she remembered who she was supposed to be playing. According to her observation, Miss Kendrickson would not care or even flinch at the sight at Holmes' appearance. On the contrary, she would act "indifferent to the incidents throughout her stay at the establishment". _Oh well. At least I can get out of this disguise when Watson leaves... wait...I don't have my regular clothes on underneath! And I need my lasers to change my eye color...and my hair..._

Watson left the room as Holmes gingerly took a seat and stared over at Miss Kendrickson/ Lestrade. He looked at her warily, but not with his usual attentiveness. He seemed more tired than she had ever remembered him, except when he came back to life. Still, even though he was injured, he scrutinized her carefully. She tried not to flinch.

Eventually, he sank back into his favorite chair and asked her, "Well, Miss Kensington, what a surprise. It is nice to see you again."

"And you, too, Mr. Holmes."

"Please, just Holmes is fine." _What in the world...?!_ thought Lestrade. _Why is this woman so important to Holmes?!_ She was, to be frank, jealous. Jealous of whoever this Miss Kendrickson is. Jealous that Holmes was already on a last-name basis with her. Just plain jealous.

Holmes continued. "I have been wondering when I'd see you again."

"Oh, really?" she asked, coldly, furiously trying to keep herself from becoming Lestrade again.

"Yes, Alicia--it is all right if I call you Alicia?--I have been wondering when I'd see you again. It has been, what, a month, I believe?"

"Yes, quite, Holmes." Lestrade forced herself to stay calm. She smiled wanly.

"What were we talking about before? Ah, yes; our little deal." He stood up and began to pace the room slowly, cautiously.

__

He shouldn't be trying to pace the room! thought Lestrade furiously. _What is he doing?! What deal? _But her heart did lighten a bit at the thought that maybe this Alicia wasn't Holmes' lady friend or anything like that. 

"I am very sorry, Alicia," said Holmes as he stopped pacing the floor to look at her in the eyes, "but I cannot come to terms with it. I must decline."

"Really, Holmes?" said Alicia. "I must insist you agree on the terms."

"Me? Agree with terms such as agreeing to stop, as you said, 'tormenting' Professor Moriarty just because you're close to him?! Agree to such terms as giving up my practice of detecting and lead a leisurely life in the country? Agree to such terms as leaving behind New London and New Scotland Yard and the people there? Leave here to let your precious Professor wreak havoc on this country, on this world, like a whirlwind?! You are an absurd woman, Miss Kendrickson, simply absurd!" It was as if all hell had turned loose and it had turned loose from his mouth. 

Lestrade's heart skipped a few beats. Miss Kendrickson wasn't involved with Holmes! He was being courteous to mislead her! Her heart lightened considerably. Miss Kendrickson was an enemy of Holmes, not a friend! _Well, that's a relief. But Holmes said he was expecting me as Alicia...what if she comes? I've got to tell him who I am! But how?_

She was thinking about this while Holmes began pacing again. "Miss Kendrickson, I must insist upon your leaving these establishments immediately. I have no tolerance for you at the moment, and I must say that, though I am a true Victorian, if you stay much longer I might forget my Victorian gentlemanly manners and let my feelings reign over me." He stared at her with an icy glare Lestrade had hoped she'd never be at the receiving line of. She wanted to yell out at him that she wasn't Miss Kendrickson, but Lestrade, his companion, his friend, his...(okay, I'll write it)...love.

She thought that, maybe, just maybe, she shouldn't tell him. Not yet, anyway. Not until he could look her in the eye without all of those cuts and bruises. Not until she could look him in the eye and say it confidently. Not until he had been healed. Not until she could herself capture Miss Kendrickson...

Watson appeared in the doorframe. "I'm very sorry to interrupt, but Holmes, I thought you might find this interesting. There's a woman outside that claims her name is Miss Kendrickson, too."

______________________________________________________________________________

Well? Is it good? Kinda good? Just plain awful? Do you like the cliffie? What do you think will happen? Any suggestions? Any comments about my writing? Please, if you're going to review, I hope they're constructive. If they're flames, I'll just use them to cook my food. Heck, I might be able to cook a whole banquet! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!! It's what keeps me writing.


	4. THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

****

THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER BUT AN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

I wish to tell everyone that I will not be updating the next chapter of this fic until I personally read the next chapter of "Harry Potter and the Ring of Doom" by MaryChristmas because she hasn't updated the story in about a year. And I refuse to put up the chapter I've already typed up until she updates the next chapter. Thank you for your time and I hope you will have patience. Thanks a bunch. And I hope MaryChristmas likes the story enough to actually care about my stopping it just for her!

And please, don't flame me for the move I've made. But, if you do, I'll use it for roasting...hmm...how about chicken on the barbie? Sound good?


	5. What Next?

Hiyah! It's me, Anneliese! I'm so glad you've waited for me!!! ::tears run down her face:: I love you all! (And no, not in the gay sense!) Thanks for being so patient with me as I waited for MaryChristmas to update!!! Here's the REAL chapter four!!!

Special thanks to:

________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: Read all the other ones!!!

________________________________________________________________________

__

Zed! thought Lestrade. _She had to come tonight, of all nights! What are we going to do?! Shoot this all! What is Holmes going to do? What am _I _going to do, for that matter!_

WHAT?! thought Holmes. _There can't just happen to be two Miss Kendricksons visiting me. Coincidence does not come to me in a manner such as this. One must be an actress...one of them is lying...but which one? We'll soon see._

"Show her in, Watson," said Holmes, trying to keep himself under control and keep his mask of indifference in place over his face.

Watson left to let in their new guest.

__

Zed! Oh, zed, zed, zed, zed! Why now!? Why!? She has the most horrible timing in the world!

I wonder...is the one I'm talking to about to commit murder? She seems capable at the moment...you just have to look in her eyes...I wonder if she's about to murder me or this new Miss Kendrickson...

Holmes was the first to see her. She was dressed in a very low cut evening gown the color of the sky at night that sparkled with her every movement. The dress went to her ankles and clung to every curve of her body. Her black tresses were pinned loosely to the top of her head. Her brown eyes were sharp and bright with intelligence and wit. Her peaches-and-cream skin made her beautiful. The only thing that kept her from being the most lovely woman in the world was the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth and the presence of a frown on her face almost every time you saw her. Unless she was toying with someone.

"Miss Kendrickson, how nice to see you," said Holmes. "I would like to introduce you to...well, Miss Kendrickson."

Lestrade and Alicia locked eyes. They stared at each other for a long time, brilliant brown eyes meeting another pair of identical brown eyes.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," said Alicia coyly, a smirk on her face.

"Likewise, I'm sure," responded Lestrade, a smile of her own. Only hers was a smile of needing reassurance. But trying to reassure yourself with a smile isn't easy or very convincing.

"Won't you please sit down, Miss Kendrickson."

"Miss Alicia Kendrickson, Mr. Holmes."

"Ahh...two Miss Alicia Kendricksons, eh? Well, then, what a coincidence! Both of you meeting me here on the same night and looking exactly the same. How interesting..."

There was a lull in the conversation. Alicia was looking at her double, and her double was looking at Alicia. They studied each other while Holmes studied both of them.

__

I wonder if they're in league with each other and are trying to fool me... thought Holmes.

__

Who is this woman? thought Miss Kendrickson. _What is she doing here, and why is she using my name? Is someone trying to get rid of me other than this Holmes...?_

Why did she have to come now!? Couldn't she have waited or something until I had captured her to appear? What is Holmes thinking now? Will he try to test us or something like that?

"Would either of you like a glass of sherry?" asked Holmes, breaking the lull and everyone's trains of thought.

"No, thank you," said Alicia. "I can't stand the stuff."

"Just a small glass, if you please," said Lestrade, even though she thought the stuff was disgusting. She wanted to seem the opposite of Miss Kendrickson, whatever it was, just in case Holmes would see the difference and tell she wasn't the real Kendrickson.

Watson brought in some sherry for Holmes and Lestrade. Alicia looked around the room and watched the two drink their sherry. _Is this a trap of some sort?_ she wondered. _Should I just leave now or stay and do as I had planned?..._

Holmes broke into her thoughts. "Excuse me, but both of you must be hungry. Would either of you like some biscuits?"

"Yes, thank you," said Alicia. "May I have a glass of water, also?"

"Of course," said Holmes. "And you?" he asked Lestrade.

"No, thank you. I am perfectly all right without," said Lestrade. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. This was not what she had wanted things to turn out. Anyway, she loved the biscuits that Watson made.

Watson brought in the biscuits and glass of water. Alicia nibbled at a biscuit as Holmes talked.

"I was wondering if both of you would tell me why you are here," said Holmes. "Usually people come here to consult me, but it seems as if there is something more to this than what meets the eye."

Lestrade spoke first. "You know exactly why I came, Mr. Holmes."

"Of course."

"But you don't know all of it."

"Oh, really? Would you like to share?"

"Not until she is done." She nodded her head towards Alicia.

"If you insist," said Alicia. "I am here on a grave mission, Mr. Holmes. I have been sent to discuss a very delicate problem of the most utmost importance..."

"...about my leaving you alone?"

"Why, yes. How did you know? You are simply amazing, Mr. Holmes, simply amazing!"

"I really don't think it's that amazing." He turned his icy glare on both of them. "Now, Miss Kendrickson," he said to Alicia, "if you would please leave the room for one moment. I need to speak with this Miss Kendrickson for one moment."

The Miss Kendrickson in blue left the scene with a nod of her head. She closed the door slowly and put her ear to the door so she could listen.

"And Miss Kendrickson, would you please speak to Watson about the matter?" shouted Holmes through the closed door. "I have not had the chance to explain to him what has been happening. Also, I believe it would be nice for the two of you to get to know each other better, considering your consistent visiting this establishment." She grudgingly left the door in search of the computeroid.

"Miss Kendrickson," said Holmes, "would you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

"Not at all."

"Would you please say the word 'martyr' for me?"

"What?"

"Say the word 'martyr' for me." She said 'martyr' and looked at him puzzled.

"Now, would you hate me if I do this?" he asked. He rushed towards her, swept her up in his arms, and kissed her passionately. 

At first, Lestrade started to back up and resist. This kiss was meant for Miss Kendrickson, not for Lestrade. But she gave in. The delight of him actually kissing her was too much for her. She felt lightheaded and dizzy when they finally pulled apart.

The first thing Holmes said after that was "Lestrade, what are you doing?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you dressed up as Miss Kendrickson?"

"Because I wanted to know who she was. I had seen her before and...I have to admit...I heard you mention her while you muttered one night in your sleep. Then I saw her a few months ago going up to your rooms. I got to know her and how she walked and the way she talked. But how did you know?"

"By your reactions and by what you said. Miss Kendrickson really likes sherry and hates biscuits, but I anticipated her to say the opposite. She probably expected me to see which one of you was the real Miss Kendrickson and said the opposite of what she really liked because I know her too well. Also, she wouldn't have shown any type of emotion except glee when she'd see me in all these bandages."

"What are you going to do with her?"

"I'm not sure yet. Want to check and see what should be done?"

"Sounds good to me!" They bent their heads together and whispered to each other.

________________________________________________________________________

I'll leave it there. I don't want to make my chapters way too long or anything. I hope everyone liked this chapter and the romance. Okay, so I felt like being romantic. So I'm weird, okay? I've known that all my life; you don't need to remind me!

Please, if you liked it or have some constructive criticism, please READ AND REVIEW! Just press the little grey button on the bottom of your screen...Thanks!


	6. The end?

Hi!!! I finally have thought of the ending I want!!! I picked it out of a hat, so if you don't like it, blame the hat!!! I had about five different options for me, and two of them were sad. I put them all in a little hat and picked one. So if you don't like it, I'm sorry but that's that! I hope you like the chapter!!! And who knows? I may just start another Lestrade/Holmes one when I'm done this one...if I get the right inspiration...

This chapter is dedicated to: 

Sherlock Jr.-- Thank you sooo much for your support!!! And in answer to your question, I don't care!!! When they get married, they're gonna have kids! Muahahaha!!!

poptate12-- I'm so glad you liked it! And I'm glad you liked the romance. I just had to! I guess it was my compulsive side!!! Hehehe!!! Well, I hope you like this chapter!

MaryChristmas-- Yes!!! You updated your story!!! And I am really sorry!!! And I did pick them out of the hat, but I had to put the sad endings into the hat because they were both very good (in literary standpoints). Anyway, I hope you like the story!

________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: You've read all the other ones; you can just read them again! Have fun!

________________________________________________________________________

She sat there, listening to Watson ramble on about something or other, wondering what Holmes and that, _imposter_, were doing. _What if they're plotting against me? There must be something going on...or does he think she's the real Miss Kendrickson? _She didn't have long to wait, though.

**********

He walked out of the room, looking for Alicia. He finally found her with Watson, in the kitchen, sitting down. _Seems that her charms even work on a computeroid!_ "Alicia, may I please speak with you?" he asked, his voice soft and deep, almost husky.

"Why, of course, Sherlock," she responded, her voice sweet and pleasing. She follows him into the room. Her steps are strong and sure, while his are light and shaky. "Close your eyes," he said in her ear. He saw her hesitation. "I won't hurt you, Alicia." He said it so calmly, so serenely, so confidently, she almost believed him. Almost.

"If you say so, Sherlock." He led her into the room. 

"You can look now." She gasped. There, in front of her, was a body. Her body. Well, someone that looked exactly like her. It was that other girl, the imposter. The one who said she was her. It was covered in blood. Why...but he wouldn't have...would he have?...

"Why did you kill her?"

"She wasn't the real Alicia. And she needed to be...disposed of...before I ever said this..."

"Alicia." She stared into those gray-blue eyes of his. She seemed lost in them.

"Yes?" she breathed heavily, her head bowed for effect.

"I love you." The words shocked her more than any lightning bolt could have. Sherlock Holmes, the greatest consulting detective ever, the most computer-like mind in the world, the man who would win the "man-with-least-emotion" award, saying he loved someone? And her? _This may be a trap. Pull yourself together! Cuter and smarter men have said the same thing to you! Yes, but they were never both combined! And never in such a way as to be..._ Her thoughts were cut off from a feeling of something behind her back. Was it..._his hand!?_

"Alicia," he breathed into her hair as he pulled her closer. "You have captured my senses from the beginning. I knew you were the one once I set my eyes on you. I don't care if you are on the other side. Let us leave. I have enough credits for us to live on the rest of our lives. Lets dump this place and leave this world behind. We'll start over again. We'll move to another part of the world and start over again. And we'll work together. Forever." He tilted her chin up to him. Their eyes locked. A chill, cold but very pleasing, went down her spine. She smiled. "Tell me you love me."

She hesitated, then switched the subject. "What will we do with her?"

"Do you love me?" he asked, the rich gleam in his eye beginning to dim with worry and disappointment.

"Yes," she said, her voice husky with emotion. She turned to the body of the girl. "What will we do with her?"

"I'll think of something later. But now..." His head began to move towards hers, his lips beginning to bunch together...suddenly, she was swept away by the sudden sensation of...

**********

__

Lestrade, please forgive me. I didn't tell you this because I knew you wouldn't have liked it, but I have to. He escorted her into the room. 

She had been so surprised by the sight that had met her eyes. _I wonder what she's thinking now?_ he mused. _But no time for musing. Time for action._

He wasn't ready to do this. He didn't have enough time to rehearse. _Just think it's Lestrade and she's playing games and wants to use another name, that's all, Holmes. Just let the drama play on. Let the drama play on..._

He was holding her now. He couldn't even remember what he had said to her, but whatever it was, it must have worked. He was getting ready for the kiss when...

**********

...pain.

She staggered away from Holmes, her head throbbing in pain. _What happened?_ she thought to herself. She tried to spin around, but she couldn't. It didn't matter, anyway. The thing that had hit her had come around to face her. 

"Y...you?" It was all she could say before she collapsed onto the floor.

"Very good, Lestrade, very good. I suppose you would like to change from that outfit?"

"Yes, Holmes, if you don't mind." She walked out of the room, a few drops of blood trailing along the floor.

__

She's good said Holmes to himself. _Very good._ He stared at the body of the true Alicia Kendrickson. "She made an easy opponent," he said, seeing that she was beginning to awaken. _I wonder how long it will take Lestrade to change back to her normal self? _he mused as he saw Alicia stir from her spot.

He walked out into the hallway. "Watson," he called out, "would you please holophone New Scotland Yard that we've captured a member of Moriarty's gang. And tell them to bring women officers with them." He walked back to the room where Miss Kendrickson laid on the floor.

"I do hope that didn't hurt too much, Miss Kendrickson," said Holmes, sarcasm dripping from his every polite word to her.

"Not at all, Mr. Holmes," she said, just as politely as she could from her position on the floor and the throbbing pain in her head, blocking her sight and perception.

"Good," he said, turning his back on her. "A few friends of mine should be coming in soon. You don't mind, do you?" He didn't wait for a reaction. "Very kind of you, Miss Kendrickson. I know you must be hurting more than just physically, but it is nice of you to allow me to let my friends come over to visit."

Just then, Lestrade came in, back to her normal self.

"Ahh, Lestrade, would you care to join us?" he said, sweeping his arm across the room. His eyebrows raised in a quizzically amused look. "There is much room for you, as you see." He placed his hands behind his back, trying to suppress a smile that was creeping across his face. But it didn't work, of course.

"If you insist, Holmes," she said, keeping up the politeness act. She then addressed herself to Miss Kendrickson. "Is there anything you would like to know, Miss Kendrickson?"

"No," she said, stubbornly.

"Then may we ask you some questions?" asked Holmes. She nodded her head. "Why did you decide to work for Moriarty?"

"It's a family business to work for a criminal mastermind," she said, sarcastically.

"The truth, for once, Miss Kendrickson."

"If you wish," she said, nonchalantly. "He got me out of some big trouble and this is how I repay him." 

"Interesting redemption system," he said before he asked another question. "Why did he set you on me?"

"Because he wanted to try to overcome your obsession with no emotions, especially lust and love."

"Never thought he cared so much."

"Neither did I." Right then, they could hear sirens outside.

"Must be our friends," said Holmes, addressing both Miss Kendrickson and Lestrade. Lestrade just shrugged, a grin peeking out from her masking. Miss Kendrickson scowled, then her face screwed up in pain.

The sound of rushing footsteps up a flight of wooden stairs could be heard from the room. Greyson and some others came rushing in, only one of them being a girl.

"What's going on, here?!" he asked as he saw the woman on the carpet and "bloodstains" nearby. 

"Don't worry, Greyson; the blood is not hers."

"Holmes, Lestrade, are you two all right?"

"The blood is fake, Greyson."

"Oh; then who is this on the floor?"

"Miss Alicia Kendrickson, alias Kathryn Moran." Gasps were heard around the room, including a few from Lestrade and Miss Moran. "I'll tell you later. Just get her out of my sight!" He rubbed his temples, as if in tiredness and from being stressed out. Under his hands he winked at Lestrade. He spoke again. "You didn't bring any more than one woman?"

"I didn't think I'd need more than just one."

"Well, then, Lestrade will have to go with you. Are you up to it?"

"Of course, Holmes! When have I never been?"

"I know several different cases in which..."

"Shut up." She was about to leave the room when Holmes grabbed her arm.

"Just come back to be me safe and sound," he said, then pulled her into a nice romantic kiss. (A/N: Remember, the rest of the New Scotland Yard force is watching them.)

When he released her, he smiled winningly. She took the hint and smiled back, winking. "I'll see you in a bit, honey!" she shouted as she walked out of the room, the rest of the Force walking numbly behind her, trying to tell themselves that what they had just seen was a dream. 

They were out the door when Holmes cried out, "You forgot Miss Moran!" The other girl on the Yard and a few guys went back up to get her. They left, still trying to figure out if what they had seen was just a big play or for real. They decided they'd ask Lestrade when they got to the Yard.

**********

"Well, that worked out pretty nicely," murmured Holmes to himself. "Watson, do you think you could make some tea and sandwiches? I'm ravenous!"

______________________________________________________________________________

*wipes forehead* Phew! It's done! Did you like the ending? It's not done, of course...but if you want more chapters, you gotta leave a review saying so!!! I'll be typing up the next chapter when I get a chance amid my piano, violin, homework, babysitting, chores, etc. In other words, you might have to wait for a bit. But I'll try my hardest!


	7. Is THIS the End?

Okay...I'm really really sorry...I know I promised to update...I hate doing this...I know I promised to update, but life's been a living hell. *dodges rotten fruit thrown at her by a very angry crowd of people that have been waiting for so long* I'M SO SORRY!!! I'm making this chapter longer than any of the others, in recompense!

Now, back to business: I had many different options here, but I decided on this one. I do hope you enjoy it!!! I may think of an alternate ending or something!!! I hope I'll be able to finish the story in this chapter!!!

________________________________________________________________________

Dedications:

Sherlock Jr.-I'm so happy you enjoy this story!!! I hope college is doing well for you! I'm so sorry I haven't been able to update, but school's murder!

poptate12-Okay, I understand if you hate me for not updating. And don't worry; the mushy stuff in front of Scotland Yarders will be revealed for its true purposes in this chapter!!! *smiles evilly*

sapphire emerald-I'm glad you liked the romance. Here's the rest!

Iara-I'm happy you enjoyed it.

Kerowyn-Hehe. Blackmail's always good. *evil grin*

lilbroomrider-Wow! I'm so glad you liked it! But there isn't so much lack anymore. Others have been writing themselves about SH22, though not all of it H/L. And thanks for understanding the stupid babysitting. I wish Mum'd stop making appointments for me!

________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: You've already read it. So there. Just read one of my other disclaimers. Have fun finding it, too! j/k!

________________________________________________________________________

The hovercar she was in was totally silent. _They must still be in shock,_ she thought to herself. And rightfully they were, too. Seeing the two most unemotional people snog each other in front of their comrades at work is somewhat unnerving. Okay, it was so shocking, many were ready to go on respirators.

The entire ride to New Scotland Yard was made in complete silence. Understandable.

When they got to New Scotland Yard, Greyson was waiting, his boot tapping on the floor, his arms folded on his chest. Lestrade knew she was going to get it once everything was all filed away and taken care of. As long as she didn't go into Greyson's office...which meant that it would most likely happen any moment soon.

She stepped out of the car, aware of the stares she was given. _What? Did I grow another head? Is there an evil twin next to me? Did I grow a beard or something? What the zed! Never knew reactions would be _this _bad! _She made her way towards the building, keeping an eye on Moran, considering the fact no one else was, being to busy trying to sort out what happened back at 221b.

She followed Greyson into the building, followed by a very silent group of people and a woman in a slinky dress, held up by two men.

Once they were inside, Greyson ordered, "Lestrade. My office. Now. You too, Miss Moran." She knew she wasn't going to get out of this one. 

__

Would have been more fun if it were in front of everyone, she thought to herself. _Oh, well; can't have everything._ She followed Greyson and Miss Moran into his office, a stupid smile on her face. Everyone that saw it was about to go nuts. They all came to the conclusion that someone had abducted the real Lestrade, and this Lestrade was a very bad imposter that just happened to have the same exact DNA structure.

**********

__

God, what has gotten into her? Greyson was at his wits end. Not only does a case suddenly appear, but also something else he had thought he'd never live to see. _What has gotten into him, as a matter of fact? This makes no sense. Lestrade and...Holmes? No; that must have been an act. That was too disgustingly romantic to be true...wasn't it? They are just pulling my leg, aren't they?_ He kept thinking as he walked to his office, but the more he thought, the more his head hurt. He decided to just discuss this when they got into his office. It'd make things much easier.

**********

"I wonder how Lestrade and Greyson are doing at the moment?" mused Holmes to no one in particular.

"Hmm?" asked Watson. He still was having trouble understanding exactly what happened, even though Holmes had already explained it to him. I suppose computeroids have a harder time understanding these things. That, or Holmes wasn't telling him everything. I'd personally believe the latter. That's what Lestrade believed when she heard about the conversation, at least.

"Oh, nothing, old chap, nothing..." He sank back into his thoughts. _I wonder if Greyson's going to take her into his office to discuss it or not? Most probably, he will. Oh, to take a picture of his face when Lestrade lets her thespian side out!_

**********

She sat in a seat in front of Greyson's desk. Moran was sitting at a seat to the side of the desk, her head neatly bandaged now. She would be shipping out for jail soon. Just a few more formalities...

"Is that all, Miss Moran, that you would wish to tell us?" asked Greyson, rubbing his temples in his chair. He needed to relax more. He was getting gray hair at the temples.

"Yes, sir," she responded, her voice flat with defeat written all over her face.

"Good." He pressed a button, making a screen behind him appear from above, showing a picture of a Yarder. 

"Yes, sir?" asked the person on the screen.

"Please come into my office and take Miss Moran. She should have a room already waiting for her." Then, the screen went blank as it raised up again with the press of a button. A few moments later, to men came to take Miss Moran away.

Before she left, she leaned over to Lestrade and hissed, "You haven't seen the last of me, you can hold me to that."

"I know," said Lestrade. "I'll be seeing you in court." And with that, Miss Moran was half carried-half dragged out of the room.

As the door closed, these words came out of Greyson's mouth: "Lestrade, would you please explain yourself?"

She gave him an oh-so-innocent look. "Why, what do you mean, Greyson?"

"You know exactly what I mean!" You could tell his anger was getting the better of him. He was about to burst from annoyance and impatience.

"I'm very sorry if you were disturbed about the blood on the floor of Holmes' apartment, but I couldn't help that. Nobody was really hurt...well, at least nobody lost any blood...it'll get cleaned up eventually..."

"That's not what I'm talking about!"

__

Whoa. Someone's about to blow his stack. "I'm telling you, Greyson, I don't know what you're talking about! What did I do this time? What did I do wrong?"

Suddenly, he got this strange look on his face. It was either chagrin or a mix between disbelief and wonder. She really didn't know which it was. Maybe it was both. His face began to turn red, then he said, "Lestrade, you and Holmes aren't...you aren't...I mean, it never crossed my mind, but...are you...I mean, are you and Holmes...well...you understand, don't you? I mean...I had never imagined...but then again, anything with the both of you is hard to imagine beforehand, but...you understand, right?..."

She was having a hard time trying not to snicker. A very hard time. _I wonder what he's referring to? Hmm...getting married, perhaps? Or something a little bit different...?_ She decided to play along.

The look of realization dawned on her face, maybe a little bit too brightly. "Ohh! You're talking about Holmes and me?" He nodded his head. "Well, there's really nothing to tell. You saw yourself. We decided we had been holding it in for way too long. It was time to let at least our coworkers know. It would have come out eventually.

"I am glad, though, that you asked first. I had been planning on telling you before, but I had never gotten the chance to, with work and all," she continued. "I mean, it would only be right to tell my commander-in-chief about it first, but it seemed to take too long to get it out, I suppose." She shrugged, smiling lightly. "You understand, of course."

"How long?"

"A year, at most." He just stared at her. She thought his eyes would fall out. She stifled a giggle as best she could. It wasn't working very well, though.

"Lestrade, are you feeling all right?" He sounded very concerned.

__

Oh, no; not a father figure type! "I'm fine," she said, trying to regroup. "Just fine. May I leave now?" She got this dreamy look in her eyes. Greyson got the hint.

"Of course, Lestrade, of course." And she ran out.

Greyson shook his head. "Never would have imagined it. A mutual relationship, yes. A quiet love, maybe. But such a showy affair of love? Unbelievable!" He shook his head again. He rubbed his forehead. "So be it; so be it." He sat down in his chair and thought.

**********

Waiting for her outside, half of the Yard was outside Greyson's doors, waiting to ask a few questions. Okay, maybe more than a few.

"Lestrade, congratulations? By the way, what exactly is going on?" "Beth, I can't believe it! You and Sherlock...!" "When are you moving into his apartment?" "Will you have a wedding or just go to the magistrate?" "Did he give you a ring? Why aren't you wearing it?" "You are still going to stay at the Yard, aren't you?" "Oi, I never thought it would happen!" "You owe me ten credits, Charlie! Hahahaha! I knew they'd hit it off eventually!"

She felt like yelling at them all; they were giving her a headache. And she wasn't exactly pleased that people had been making bets about whether she and Holmes were going to 'hit it off'. Instead, though, she smiled sweetly and said, "Thanks, everyone, for your concern." She looked pointedly at Bill, who had made that bet with Charlie. "Yes, we're engaged. Yes, we are going to have a traditional wedding. Yes, but I'm not showing you the ring yet. I'm not moving into his apartment until we get married, and I will still be working at the Yard." With that, she parted the stunned mass of people like the Red Sea and walked out of the building. Immediately after she left, the buzz of idle chatter and gossiping began in the mouths of many and fell on the ears of very few.

**********

__

Well, that went well, thought Lestrade to herself as she drove her hovercar to Baker Street. _I hope Holmes doesn't mind that I mentioned all this. I wonder what his reaction will be? Hmm...I'll find out soon, won't I?_ She stopped her train of thought for a few moments to curse at a driver that stopped abruptly in front of her, almost making her crash into him. She resumed her thinking again. _I wonder if Holmes would ever say these things to me without the acting? What a ridiculous thought! If we ever got married, which I highly doubt, we would get married at the magistrate and have no ring. If we did have a ring, it'd be a simple silver or gold slim band, of course. I wouldn't have it any other way, anyway..._ She drifted off. _What the zed am I thinking? This is Holmes, not Rhett Butler! I shouldn't have gone delving into those ancient movies that were still on those things...what are they called...DVD's?_

By this time, she had gotten to Holmes' apartment at 221b. She got out of her hovercar and walked up the stairs to Holmes' apartment. But, just when she got to the last step, there was Holmes, waiting for her. They just kind of looked at each other for a while, then, he made the first move. Or words, really.

"How did they take it?"

"Exactly as I had hoped."

"What did you tell them?"

"We're to be married with a traditional wedding. The ring you gave me was not to be shown until the wedding. I'm not moving in until after the wedding, also. And I'll still be working at the Yard after marriage, of course."

"Yes, of course; we had to have at least one ring of truth to the story." He smiled.

__

Zed he looks so zedded good when he smiles like that! "Holmes, when we were in that room together alone, did you...really mean it?"

"Of course I did. I do not lie about these things to someone like you." To her surprise, and, admittedly true, her delight, he took her hand and, being the 'gentleman' he was, he kissed it. Tenderly. Caressingly. (A/N: Sorry. Getting carried away...shouldn't have just watched _The Count of Monte Cristo_.)

She was about to blush when he let go. The blush receded back into herself. "I wish you had waited on one detail though; you haven't your ring yet."

She looked at him, confused. This surely was not going to be that elaborate, was it? She knew Holmes liked to give everyone a good pull at the leg, but not so much as to yank it from underneath them so they go falling off a cliff...did he? "Holmes?" she asked.

"Would you rather me go on one knee? I will, if you want to. I thought you knew I'd been serious before, but obviously, it has not dawned onto you quite yet..."

She decided to shut him up like any other girl would to a guy. The man shutteth up.

When they both regained their breaths, he asked, "Is that a yes?" She gave him a good whap to the head. He ducked. "Well?"

She sighed, exasperated by his boyish behavior. "Yes!" He smiled insanely. She was now having second thoughts about this. Obviously, even Sherlock Holmes did not grow up from boyhood.

"Good! Then I can give you this!" He joyously took out a little box from his pocket and opened it for Lestrade.

She was speechless. She hadn't expected anything like this. It was beautifully crafted, encrusted with dustings of diamonds, not huge, yet not specks of dust. The band was elegant with its slight curve to it, the platinum shining with the diamonds. They glittered brighter than all the stars in the universe, but not as much as Lestrade's and Holmes' eyes. When she regained her voice, she said, "Holmes...it's beautiful..."

"It was my mother's," he said, a sad smile coming to his lips. "It was the one thing she ever enjoyed of my father's. You mustn't have noticed it when I was brought back to life. I had it with me the whole time." His smile changed from one of sadness to one of elation. "When do you want to have the wedding?" he asked, eagerly, like a little child at Christmas.

__

Yep. Still a child. Always will be, I suppose. I'll just have to get over it or change it. "I was thinking a magistrate." 

His face relaxed. "Good; I don't like the thought of extremely large crowds and every newspaper in town announcing our marriage. But when, Lestrade?"

A pause. "How about tomorrow?"

"Can you wait that long?"

Another pause. "...No. Can we go now?"

"Of course, but we need someone to witness it. Could Watson do it?"

She looked at the door, thoughtful. "I'm not sure; he's a computeroid...he can come along with us, though. We'll just have to get at the Irregulars, won't we?" She smiled widely.

He smiled, too. Just the thought of their reactions was priceless. "Yes, this will be interesting. We had better go and call them up on the holophone." And so, they walked into the apartment, holding each others' hands as they closed the door behind them.

**********

He paced his office, wondering what was taking so long. He was getting extremely impatient. _Where are they?_ he thought furiously to himself. _They are taking too long on this assignment. Unless they are taking another donut break...and if they are..._

He had no need to worry, though, for a few moments later, two men appeared.

"Took you long enough," he said, coldly, giving both of the men death glares. "What is going on with...those two? What has happened?"

"We found at the Yard that they are...well...uhh...they're uh...you see, sir, they're uh..." The first man hesitated too long.

"Spit it out already!"

"Sir, they are to be wed." 

Stunned silence. Then, he blew. "WHAT?! They are to what?!"

"B-be married, s-sir, with a t-traditional wedding, s-sometime l-la-later this y-year," said the other man, stuttering in fear.

"Traditional?"

"Yes, sir."

More stunned silence. Then, "I see. And Miss Moran?"

"Arrested, sir."

He was about to blow his top, though he didn't look it. His silent anger was ten times worse than his outraged anger he showed. "I see. And you don't know when they are to be wed?"

"N-no, sir. No idea. Nobody knows."

The man paced the room, thinking. Then, he paused, an evil smile creeping onto his face. "Perfect, simply perfect," he murmured to himself contentedly. He turned to the two spies. "Whatever you do, do not lose sight of them. I want someone following them at all times. Both of them. With this going around, we have some time. If it's only by the end of the year, I can still stop it. There is time left. He will not have her! If I cannot be happy, neither can he!" He slammed his fists on his desk, almost breaking it in half. He looked at the two men who still stared at him, dumbfounded. "Well, go!" They scuttled out of the office, not wanting to feel their boss's wrath again. They got enough of that the last time they had a donut break while dogging the steps of these two before.

Alone once more, he paced his room, this time humming a very complicated tune from Bach, a malicious smile playing evilly on his lips.

______________________________________________________________________________

Well, what do you think? Who is this man? How will the Irregulars react to this? Will the next chapter come before the next year? Why is Holmes so OOC? Why is Lestrade OOC too? Some answers will come in the next chapter!!!

Well, looks like there's gonna be another chapter, huh? Guess that whole "try-to-make-this-one-the-last-one" thing didn't work. Oh well. *sighs, though is secretly happy*

*smiles contentedly* Well, now that's done, I can work on some other things, like my homework! Grr...homework=evil! 

Gotta go! Please review!!! I'd like to have at least three new reviews before I get the next chapter up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
